To Shelby, my only daughter
To my first born Shelby Lu,
Shelby, you were our first child, first pregnancy and first love other than each other. Your dad and I wanted to wait until he was in or almost done with his second year of dental school before we got pregnant. We knew that the second year was the hardest and he would be gone a lot, so we made our plan. We were married for five years before we had you. I was pregnant with you when I turned 30. You were born three months after my birthday. Your dad threw a surprise birthday party for me, and I was so embarrassed. I love to spoil other people, but get very shy when the attention is on me. I was wearing a shirt with a stain, and couldn't find any clothes to fit me. My birthday was miserably hot and I was a sweaty mess.
We tried to get pregnant for 6 months after we decided we were ready. I had a hard time waiting once we decided, and I had hoped it would happen instantly. Once I was pregnant I didn't get sick until the second month. I told my sister Rhoda before I even told your dad. Shhh, don't tell him that. I was too afraid to tell anybody, worried that I may not stay pregnant. I don't know why, but I was always worried about miscarriages. I think watching Rhoda have 5 kids before me had taught me a lot about how to be pregnant, how to wait to tell people, and what to do. I watched her birth her children and was very close to them all their lives. Rhoda had scare with Brynlee where she thought she may lose her when she was about 20 weeks pregnant. I left in the middle of the night to go to the hospital with her and hold her hand. I think the emotions got the best of me because I found myself outside almost passing out before we even got a room. I kind of hate hospitals. Rhoda and the baby were ok, but we stayed there for hours waiting. Something I will never forget and always made me nervous.
I was two weeks over-due with you and dying (so I thought). I was still working full-time. After I was 12 days overdue my boss finally said to me "Just don't come in tomorrow. Take the rest of the time off." He was an nice guy but I think that was a hint that I was driving everyone mad.
I was told by my doctor that I wasn't able to go longer than 2 weeks overdue, and the impending doom of being induces scared me. I really wanted a drug free and natural child birth, and I knew if I got the inducing medicine, petocin, that it would decrease that likelihood. I taught exercise classes for years before I had you, I ran a half marathon pregnant with you, and I was in great shape. That didn't stop me from gaining like 40 pounds however.
I had an appointment to be induced at 6 am. I woke up at 1:30 am that morning with a major contraction. It hurt so much that it woke me straight up. I ran to the bathroom and peed my pants all at the same time. Labor hurt from the very first contraction. I was hoping it would be easy, but nope, it was not. I called my sister who came up from Salem. We lived in our townhouse in Tigard. I woke your dad up and was trying to get him to time my contractions. He just kept falling back asleep. This is the story of our marriage darling. Your father loves sleep and there is never enough for him. That's why Rhoda is key!
I walked around our mailboxes and parking area with Rhoda for hours going through labor. Around 4 pm, we finally agreed it was time to go to the hospital. Contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and I was in lots of pain still. The drive to the Sunnyside hospital was almost 45 minutes due to Portland traffic. I wasn't expecting that. Laboring in a car is tricky. We got checked into the hospital and I was only dilated to a 4. I was really hoping you were going to come out sooner than that, but it wasn't so. I got into my room, and labored, and ached, and moaned. Rhoda brought Kenady with her and wore her in a packing backpack. Kenady was a saint. She was so cute and never wanted to leave your side. It's like she knew what was about to happen. We have video of me in labor and to this day, I cannot watch it. I hear one of my moans and I turn it off. It reminds me of just how much it hurt. I never knew pain like that, but I never asked for drugs or thought I couldn't do it. I knew I could, I just didn't know it was going to last for 22 hours. You were born that night, just before midnight.
After you were born, I got to hold you, but it was very short lived. You screamed the whole time I held you. You came into this world fiesty, and you still are. I love that fire about you. I hope you never lose it. When you were born, you split me in half basically. I was standing in a crouched position when you came out, and your head was enormous. You were 9 pounds and just tore me badly. I had to go away immediately to surgery and left you with dad. If you ever get to watch the video of the birth, when he's holding you and Rhoda is asking him questions, you can see the emotion on his face. I love that video and that moment. Your dad loves you so much. You two were bonded from the beginning. He always tells me that you and he created a special bond that day. I was gone for three hours in surgery and I couldn't see you or hold you until I could move my toes. I laid there and prayed and prayed until finally they moved and I could come see you. I was crying I was so happy.
I tried to nurse you and you mostly screamed at me. You were mad at me for leaving you is what Rhoda kept saying. Finally you threw up a bunch of blood when Grandma Wendy was holding you. It was unexpected but the nurses said you probably swallowed blood due to all my bleeding when you were born. Because of my tear, I was losing lots of it. After you got that out, you calmed right down and slept and ate really well from that point on.
You had enormous eyes, you still do. You loved to move and talk, and you still do. You learned to walk at 9 months, you could do push ups at 6 months. You've always been very coordinated, sure footed, and loved the outdoors. If you're ever unhappy, we just take you for a walk. You love to go running with me in the stroller and love to be in a swing. Movement is the key to you being calm and relaxed.
You slept in our room in a bassinet. Every time we tried to lay you down, you would wake up. Your dad put a heating pad in there to warm the bed up before we laid you down. And you would still wake up. So he or I would lay there and let you squeeze our finger and you would sleep. Sometimes you would sleep in your swing. Sleeping for you was hard. You would wake up easily. Rhoda would put you in your carseat and put you in her laundry room with her dryer running and you would sleep for hours. I think you like to be warm!
You have proven to be a very smart and funny girl. You pick up on complex things easily like your father. You love to quote movies, learn about science including anatomy and everything about animals, and you still prefer the outdoors to indoors. In fact, when they cut down the trees next to our house to build more houses, you were beside yourself in grief. You've begged us to move to the country for years now. We will move soon sweetheart, but not quite yet.
You love to have one-on-one time with me or your dad. You talk a lot when it's just us and share your insights about life, fashion, and the world.
Shelby, you were our first child, first pregnancy and first love other than each other. Your dad and I wanted to wait until he was in or almost done with his second year of dental school before we got pregnant. We knew that the second year was the hardest and he would be gone a lot, so we made our plan. We were married for five years before we had you. I was pregnant with you when I turned 30. You were born three months after my birthday. Your dad threw a surprise birthday party for me, and I was so embarrassed. I love to spoil other people, but get very shy when the attention is on me. I was wearing a shirt with a stain, and couldn't find any clothes to fit me. My birthday was miserably hot and I was a sweaty mess.
We tried to get pregnant for 6 months after we decided we were ready. I had a hard time waiting once we decided, and I had hoped it would happen instantly. Once I was pregnant I didn't get sick until the second month. I told my sister Rhoda before I even told your dad. Shhh, don't tell him that. I was too afraid to tell anybody, worried that I may not stay pregnant. I don't know why, but I was always worried about miscarriages. I think watching Rhoda have 5 kids before me had taught me a lot about how to be pregnant, how to wait to tell people, and what to do. I watched her birth her children and was very close to them all their lives. Rhoda had scare with Brynlee where she thought she may lose her when she was about 20 weeks pregnant. I left in the middle of the night to go to the hospital with her and hold her hand. I think the emotions got the best of me because I found myself outside almost passing out before we even got a room. I kind of hate hospitals. Rhoda and the baby were ok, but we stayed there for hours waiting. Something I will never forget and always made me nervous.
I was two weeks over-due with you and dying (so I thought). I was still working full-time. After I was 12 days overdue my boss finally said to me "Just don't come in tomorrow. Take the rest of the time off." He was an nice guy but I think that was a hint that I was driving everyone mad.
I was told by my doctor that I wasn't able to go longer than 2 weeks overdue, and the impending doom of being induces scared me. I really wanted a drug free and natural child birth, and I knew if I got the inducing medicine, petocin, that it would decrease that likelihood. I taught exercise classes for years before I had you, I ran a half marathon pregnant with you, and I was in great shape. That didn't stop me from gaining like 40 pounds however.
I had an appointment to be induced at 6 am. I woke up at 1:30 am that morning with a major contraction. It hurt so much that it woke me straight up. I ran to the bathroom and peed my pants all at the same time. Labor hurt from the very first contraction. I was hoping it would be easy, but nope, it was not. I called my sister who came up from Salem. We lived in our townhouse in Tigard. I woke your dad up and was trying to get him to time my contractions. He just kept falling back asleep. This is the story of our marriage darling. Your father loves sleep and there is never enough for him. That's why Rhoda is key!
I walked around our mailboxes and parking area with Rhoda for hours going through labor. Around 4 pm, we finally agreed it was time to go to the hospital. Contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and I was in lots of pain still. The drive to the Sunnyside hospital was almost 45 minutes due to Portland traffic. I wasn't expecting that. Laboring in a car is tricky. We got checked into the hospital and I was only dilated to a 4. I was really hoping you were going to come out sooner than that, but it wasn't so. I got into my room, and labored, and ached, and moaned. Rhoda brought Kenady with her and wore her in a packing backpack. Kenady was a saint. She was so cute and never wanted to leave your side. It's like she knew what was about to happen. We have video of me in labor and to this day, I cannot watch it. I hear one of my moans and I turn it off. It reminds me of just how much it hurt. I never knew pain like that, but I never asked for drugs or thought I couldn't do it. I knew I could, I just didn't know it was going to last for 22 hours. You were born that night, just before midnight.
After you were born, I got to hold you, but it was very short lived. You screamed the whole time I held you. You came into this world fiesty, and you still are. I love that fire about you. I hope you never lose it. When you were born, you split me in half basically. I was standing in a crouched position when you came out, and your head was enormous. You were 9 pounds and just tore me badly. I had to go away immediately to surgery and left you with dad. If you ever get to watch the video of the birth, when he's holding you and Rhoda is asking him questions, you can see the emotion on his face. I love that video and that moment. Your dad loves you so much. You two were bonded from the beginning. He always tells me that you and he created a special bond that day. I was gone for three hours in surgery and I couldn't see you or hold you until I could move my toes. I laid there and prayed and prayed until finally they moved and I could come see you. I was crying I was so happy.
I tried to nurse you and you mostly screamed at me. You were mad at me for leaving you is what Rhoda kept saying. Finally you threw up a bunch of blood when Grandma Wendy was holding you. It was unexpected but the nurses said you probably swallowed blood due to all my bleeding when you were born. Because of my tear, I was losing lots of it. After you got that out, you calmed right down and slept and ate really well from that point on.
You had enormous eyes, you still do. You loved to move and talk, and you still do. You learned to walk at 9 months, you could do push ups at 6 months. You've always been very coordinated, sure footed, and loved the outdoors. If you're ever unhappy, we just take you for a walk. You love to go running with me in the stroller and love to be in a swing. Movement is the key to you being calm and relaxed.
You slept in our room in a bassinet. Every time we tried to lay you down, you would wake up. Your dad put a heating pad in there to warm the bed up before we laid you down. And you would still wake up. So he or I would lay there and let you squeeze our finger and you would sleep. Sometimes you would sleep in your swing. Sleeping for you was hard. You would wake up easily. Rhoda would put you in your carseat and put you in her laundry room with her dryer running and you would sleep for hours. I think you like to be warm!
You have proven to be a very smart and funny girl. You pick up on complex things easily like your father. You love to quote movies, learn about science including anatomy and everything about animals, and you still prefer the outdoors to indoors. In fact, when they cut down the trees next to our house to build more houses, you were beside yourself in grief. You've begged us to move to the country for years now. We will move soon sweetheart, but not quite yet.
You love to have one-on-one time with me or your dad. You talk a lot when it's just us and share your insights about life, fashion, and the world.
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