Slater Coombs is born

We had our beautiful baby boy at 11:30 pm on October 21st. He was 1 pound and 14" long. He had perfect hands and feet, and a tiny little body. Caleb and I were the only ones in the room for the birth and it was life changing for both of us. Slater had the umbilical cord around his neck and was breech. He showed no signs of life. He just laid motionless.


Caleb and I shared many tears, and we continue to share many tears. We held him for a couple of hours. Played with his little fingers and toes. His body was so tiny and weak, and he was just not meant to be.


We struggled for months with what to do, and after our follow up appointment earlier this week, there was really no choice anymore. Slater was not surviving and there was zero amniotic fluid for him to thrive. We had to act quickly, but they did give us a day to go home and get our other children settled.


We sat down the three kids at home and told that that even though we did everything we could, our little baby was unable to live. Ronin was too young to understand any of it, he just knows that mommy has been sick and unable to do anything. We put him to bed and stayed up talking to Shelby and Calvin. Calvin didn't say a word, he just rolled up on Caleb's lap in a blanket and didn't move. Shelby had many questions. Why did this happen? Exactly what did the doctor say? She said "I know babies don't need lungs when they are in moms belly because they get oxygen from moms blood. But once he's born he does need lungs." Caleb and I were shocked with how much she knew about this, but she's obsessed with all things related to the human anatomy. She continued to ask many questions, and Caleb and I did the best to answer them.


We then turned our attention to Calvin who was in a puddle of tears. He just cried and cried. He was so sad. He really wanted a baby brother. He didn't understand how this could happen. We all sat there and cried together. Calvin wanted to know what would happen if he went to a different heaven than his baby brother and then he wouldn't even see him in heaven. We assured him that families are forever and we will all be reunited some day.


Caleb and I stayed in the hospital for two days and then we came home together. On the way out of the hospital, a couple came out in the hall in front of us. They had just had a baby boy, they had a cart full of flowers and gifts, their little boy snug in his new car seat, and the parents couldn't stop staring at him. I just bawled and bawled the whole walk behind them until we got to our car. Once we got to our car, Caleb just sat there with me while I had a huge epic meltdown. Then he drove me to a store and bought me a drink as we headed back to our house.


The last day has been really hard. I can't sleep, I don't eat much, and I mostly cry. Caleb cries with me sometimes, or just rubs my back. We pray together a lot and I am reminded what a good man that I married. Caleb has been my rock. He and I are bonded in a new way that I never knew existed. I love him and my kids so much more now.


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