Trying
Caleb and I have been trying to have a third child for over a year now, and we just can't seem to get it to work. At first we just were not getting pregnant, which was frustrating. Then we finally got pregnant and I didn't even tell Caleb. We had our big anniversary trip coming up and I was going to suprise him. Unfortunately I started having complications so I had to tell him as I sat in our bathroom and cried. We weren't sure if it was a miscarriage or not, but we were pretty sure. After our first set of tests at the doctor they said it was a good pregnancy and not to worry. They put me on "pelvic rest" which was suppose to help. Well, it didn't help. After three months of bleeding, we had a miscarriage.
We have been trying to get pregnant ever since. It had been a year of trying so we scheduled an appointment with my doctor to get more serious. After I scheduled the appointment, I got pregnant again. YEAH! Again, I didn't tell Caleb because I wanted to think of a special way to let him know. When I was around 11 weeks I finally couldn't hold it in anymore. I made him breakfast in bed with the kids and spelled it out in pancakes and syrup for him. Caleb was very sweet and excited. That whole day we talked about names (the one thing we never agree on), what kind of car we want to buy, whether we would find out the sex or keep it a surprise until after birth, and me telling him all about how sick I have been and trying to hide it from him. It's easy to hide since he's gone so much, but I thought he was start to notice. I was really tired and having a hard time working out like I normally do. But the kids got sick and there were lots of other reasons for me to be really tired, so he didn't notice. And he's not the most observant husband around.
I was subbing in Shelby's primary class on Sunday and I started to having signs of a a miscarriage again. I immediately scheduled more doctors appointments and the initial testing all came back positive. However, as the week progressed, the complications got worse. After two days in bed the doctor confirmed it was another miscarriage. They scheduled a D&C for me right away because I was having lots of complications and my body was able to do it on it's own. Caleb had a very important meeting that he couldn't miss, so my sister met me at the hospital. Caleb was there after I was in recovery and helped me out the rest of the night.
Over the past week I have realized that I have a lot of really great friends. Some of them are my family members and some are just people I have met since moving back to Salem. I didn't tell anybody because I am very private about stuff like this, but I did need some help. I got lunch delivered from a girl in my ward Jenn, a ride to the hospital from another girl in my ward Anne, dinner for my family from a long time friend Heather, my sister was by my side the whole time, my parents watched my kids, my day car lady Krista helped during the day and offered extra rides and extended hours, a young woman came and cleaned my house for me, Jenn also bought me some groceries, my dad brought me milk when I realized we were out, and I have had a lot of random phone calls from friends that I haven't heard from for a long time just calling to chat. I actually didn't tell them what I was going through, but I sure was happy to have the chat. It's nice to talk about something else.
The lessons that I'm learning are going to be with me for a long time. I don't always get to control things and sometimes things just don't happen no matter how bad you want them to. I have a lot of people who love me and want to help me. I need to look for ways to help out other people when they need a friend too. Caleb and I are closer than ever before and I am lucky to have such a sweet husband. My kids know exactly how to cheer me up and have been absolute angels and they want to cuddle all day. There is a plan for us, and we just need to keep our heads up and count our blessings.
We have been trying to get pregnant ever since. It had been a year of trying so we scheduled an appointment with my doctor to get more serious. After I scheduled the appointment, I got pregnant again. YEAH! Again, I didn't tell Caleb because I wanted to think of a special way to let him know. When I was around 11 weeks I finally couldn't hold it in anymore. I made him breakfast in bed with the kids and spelled it out in pancakes and syrup for him. Caleb was very sweet and excited. That whole day we talked about names (the one thing we never agree on), what kind of car we want to buy, whether we would find out the sex or keep it a surprise until after birth, and me telling him all about how sick I have been and trying to hide it from him. It's easy to hide since he's gone so much, but I thought he was start to notice. I was really tired and having a hard time working out like I normally do. But the kids got sick and there were lots of other reasons for me to be really tired, so he didn't notice. And he's not the most observant husband around.
I was subbing in Shelby's primary class on Sunday and I started to having signs of a a miscarriage again. I immediately scheduled more doctors appointments and the initial testing all came back positive. However, as the week progressed, the complications got worse. After two days in bed the doctor confirmed it was another miscarriage. They scheduled a D&C for me right away because I was having lots of complications and my body was able to do it on it's own. Caleb had a very important meeting that he couldn't miss, so my sister met me at the hospital. Caleb was there after I was in recovery and helped me out the rest of the night.
Over the past week I have realized that I have a lot of really great friends. Some of them are my family members and some are just people I have met since moving back to Salem. I didn't tell anybody because I am very private about stuff like this, but I did need some help. I got lunch delivered from a girl in my ward Jenn, a ride to the hospital from another girl in my ward Anne, dinner for my family from a long time friend Heather, my sister was by my side the whole time, my parents watched my kids, my day car lady Krista helped during the day and offered extra rides and extended hours, a young woman came and cleaned my house for me, Jenn also bought me some groceries, my dad brought me milk when I realized we were out, and I have had a lot of random phone calls from friends that I haven't heard from for a long time just calling to chat. I actually didn't tell them what I was going through, but I sure was happy to have the chat. It's nice to talk about something else.
The lessons that I'm learning are going to be with me for a long time. I don't always get to control things and sometimes things just don't happen no matter how bad you want them to. I have a lot of people who love me and want to help me. I need to look for ways to help out other people when they need a friend too. Caleb and I are closer than ever before and I am lucky to have such a sweet husband. My kids know exactly how to cheer me up and have been absolute angels and they want to cuddle all day. There is a plan for us, and we just need to keep our heads up and count our blessings.
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